WASHINGTON (GP News) – In an unprecedented move by President Obama, those voters previously disenfranchised by their inability to be conscious now have the right to vote through proxies by new executive order.
“No longer will those in vegetative states, comas and various other debilitating states be discriminated against,” said the President in a prepared statement to an empty press room. “Just because someone doesn't have the brains to vote doesn't mean they can't vote.”
Paul Dane, Chairman of the Committee For The Lucidly Impaired, hailed the move as President Obama's contribution to the Civil Rights Movement. Speaking for his comatose mother-in-law, “Free at last! Oh my God, we are free at last!” Dane, a resident of Oregon, then left the hospital to vote for Proposition 45, a law that would allow for immediate euthanasia of elderly patients in vegetative states.
Surprisingly, the Republicans have responded quite tamely. RNC Chairman Micheal Steele told GP News that he “supported the expansion of freedom” to those who previously could not vote. While questioning the legality of using an executive order, Steele reminded the reporter that he was black, so he knew everything about being oppressed, especially by those in his own party. After that statement, Steele then asked if the interview was off the record.
GP News called several new voters in an attempt to get a more broad sampling of opinions, but no calls were returned.